Signs of Emotional abuse is not just limited to romantic Relationships. It can also happen between family and friends. However, for the purposes of this article, we will focus on the toxic traits a couple might have in a relationship and the steps you can take to overcome them and break free.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?
If you think you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, you have likely seen signs, or possibly a pattern, of constant verbal abuse, threats, harassment, and/or criticism. Signs of emotional abuse can also include more subtle tactics like bullying, shaming, and manipulation. The abuser’s ultimate goal is ultimately to control the other person, often stemming from insecurities instilled from childhood and still having to deal with. Sometimes, it is the result of the same person being abused.
The first step is to recognize the signs of emotional abuse. Does your partner exhibit any of the descriptions listed below? While it is common to think of a man as the abuser, women and men abuse each other in equal proportions. 1 Emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse, but it almost always precedes and accompanies physical abuse, so if you notice the following ten signs of emotional abuse in your relationship, it may be time to confront your partner or consider seeing someone else. a counsellor:
Your opinion doesn’t matter – Signs of Emotional abuse
Your partner often ignores your opinions and needs. You feel like you can’t say anything without being immediately turned off or made fun of. In addition, your partner regularly points out your flaws, mistakes and shortcomings.
You need permission to do anything
You feel that you cannot make any decisions or go anywhere without prior permission. If you do something without asking, you feel like you have to hide it or you risk angering your partner.
You are always wrong
No matter what you say or do, your partner is always trying to make you feel like they’re right and you’re wrong. No fact or detail will lead you to believe otherwise.
You must respect them, otherwise – Signs of Emotional abuse
Any sign of disrespect, even if it’s completely unintentional or wrong, triggers them. You have to think twice about everything you can say or do to make sure they don’t take it the wrong way.
You are not an individual
Instead of thinking of you as a separate individual person, they see you as an extension of themselves. You feel like you can’t do anything for yourself without your partner making you feel guilty.
Having trouble moving on? Click here to see what Mary Lamia, Ph.D., has to say about letting go. Do you feel that your partner is distant? Read on to find out how to foster emotional intimacy.
You have no control over finances – Signs of Emotional abuse
Your partner doesn’t allow you any control over how you spend money or strongly criticises every purchase you make, regardless of which one of you actually makes the money.
You can’t get emotionally close to them.
Your partner keeps his thoughts buried and avoids talking about anything that isn’t purely transactional, for example, the kids, finances, or housekeeping. When you are attacked, it tends to be for reasons other than what was actually being discussed.
They blame others
If you agree to never be wrong, your partner can also make excuses for your behavior. They blame others even when they are to blame, and have difficulty apologising for any wrongdoing.
They share personal information about you. – Signs of Emotional abuse
You can’t trust your partner because they will tell others what you said, often combining it with the aforementioned ridicule. You feel that you cannot trust your partner at all. YourChristianDate
They play the victim
Often combined with blaming others, they will also play victim to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They try to deflect any blame onto you or manipulate you into feeling sorry for them instead of getting upset.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
The first thought most people have is, “Can an emotional abuser change?” However, as in the situation, the answer is not as simple as a clear yes or no. Change is possible, but only if the abuser recognizes his abusive patterns and the harm caused by them and has a deep desire to change his ways. It is not an easy solution. Learned behaviours are so ingrained in a person’s personality and, along with feelings of entitlement, can be very difficult to change. Also, many abusers tend to enjoy the power they feel from the emotionally abusive relationship. As a result, very few end up being able to turn around. YourChristianDate.Com
So what can you do instead? Try the following strategies to regain your power and self-esteem:
Put your own needs first – Signs of Emotional abuse
Stop worrying about protecting your partner. They will probably pout and try to manipulate you into staying in the same rut, but nothing will change unless you put your own desires first. Do what you can to make sure you take care of yourself and your needs first.
Set some firm limits
You must let your partner know that abuse will no longer be tolerated in any form, be it yelling, ridicule, etc. If the behavior continues, show them that you will no longer tolerate it by leaving the room or even leaving the house to go somewhere else until the situation dissolves.
Don’t get involved
Often the abuser will feed off of you arguing and trying to explain yourself, or he may try to manipulate you into feeling sorry for him and expecting an apology. Do not give up. Keep calm, be quiet and walk away. Show them that their behavior will no longer work on you.
Realize that you can’t “fix” them. – Signs of Emotional abuse
As tempting as it is to think that you can reason with an abuser, only he can decide that he wants to change his destructive quality. Repeated attempts to try and fix the person will only leave you emotionally drained and ultimately worse off than before.
You are not to blame.
If you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a while, it’s easy to start thinking that maybe there’s something wrong with you, that there must be a reason your partner treats you so poorly. This is simply not true. Sometimes rebuilding your self-esteem is the first step in escaping an emotionally abusive relationship.
Seek support – Signs of Emotional abuse
You don’t have to go through this experience alone. In fact, you shouldn’t. Talk to family or friends who love and support you, and see a counselor if needed about what you’re going through. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone so you don’t feel so alone or isolated.
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Develop an exit plan
Sometimes you may feel the need to stay in a relationship because of the amount of time you’ve already invested, or perhaps finances or children force you to stay. But you can’t stay with an emotional abuser forever. You need to develop a plan for moving forward, whether that means saving money or planning a divorce and finding a new place to live.
If you notice any of the above signs of emotional abuse, take a good, honest look at your relationship. Physical abuse does not have to be present before you decide to do something about it. In many ways, emotional abuse can be worse than physical abuse, as it can destroy your sense of self-worth. Remember: It’s never too late to seek help